In my college days, my alma mater had one of the worst football programs in the country. Indeed, for much of a season, the Colorado State Rams were ranked No. 1 in Steve Harvey's syndicated "Bottom 10."

Then fate smiled, or something.

By a quirk of scheduling, our winless team was to play Texas-El Paso, also winless and ranked No. 2 in the Bottom 10. Our college newspaper anointed the matchup the Toilet Bowl.

Immortality awaited the loser. Then disaster struck our team. UTEP's quarterback broke his arm.

Our feeble opponent was made feebler. CSU won the Toilet Bowl. So doing, it lost the mythical national title.

In a similar vein, this week Texans probably don't know whether to celebrate or pout. In spite of their lawmakers' very best (or worst) efforts, their state has been supplanted at the top (bottom?) of the Bottom 10.

The category is per capita state spending. Two years ago, Texas was dead last among states. Last week came word that Texas had been replaced by, of all the swamps in the world, Florida.

This is some feat by Florida. In the category of not spending, the last biennium of the Texas Legislature rose to near-mythical heights.

That doesn't mean Texas isn't still at the bottom in a host of categories. Last in high school graduation rates. Last in health coverage. Last per capita in the amount spent on government administration.

Texas is also first in several categories, according to a report compiled by state Sen. Eliot Shapleigh.

First in the number of executions. First in the number of gun shows. First in toxic air emissions. First in clean water violations.

All of this brings to mind a comment by Gov. Rick Perry two years ago.

When asked what Texas wanted to avoid in slashing away at an already-lean state government, Perry said, "I don't want to become Mississippi."

As first glance, one assumed that to mean "don't want to be a state that allows its infrastructure and schools to decay with abject neglect."

But analyzing the numbers, one was left to wonder whether Perry meant just the opposite — "don't want to be a lavish, big-spending state that showers its highways and school children with more than they need."

According to the most recent census figures, Mississippi ranks 26th in per capita state spending.

"I don't want to become Mississippi."

Don't you worry, Mr. Governor.

On the subject of taxes, to hear the debate in Austin, they're so oppressive we couldn't squeeze out another dime. Well, maybe Texans can complain. They do have a higher per capita tax rate. Than Colorado. Otherwise, 48 states, including big-spender Mississippi (No. 24), raise more per capita in taxes.

Right now, lawmakers are considering better ways to fund schools than the property tax, which actually is comparatively high — the 16th highest burden in the nation. Unfortunately, particularly for low-income Texans, one of the options being discussed is raising the sales tax, which hits the poor far harder than the wealthy.

Texas ranks second in the country in dependence on the sales tax, making it a contender for the Toilet Bowl of tax regressivity.

As for our proud state having been bumped out of its No. 1 ranking in the Bottom 10 in state spending, just whose arm got broken in Florida?